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  #41  
Unread 24-02-2006, 10:23
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heard this at work today betwen two of the girls, laughed myself silly

girl 1 "i hear "catherine" got lucky saturday night"

girl 2 "pah, the tide wouldn't take her out!"
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  #42  
Unread 27-02-2006, 00:01
karilyn karilyn is offline
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http://www.overheardindublin.com are similar to the above. makes me think of home
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  #43  
Unread 14-03-2006, 01:51
Lord Raath Lord Raath is offline
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"Take off and nuke the whole place from orbit. It's the only way to be sure."

-Aliens
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  #44  
Unread 04-05-2006, 05:28
Tree Tree is offline
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The person one loves never really exists, but is a projection focused through the lens of the mind onto whatever screen it fits with least distortion - Arthur C. Clarke

(cheers d for that one)
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  #45  
Unread 04-05-2006, 05:48
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"I didn't drop it. I just helped it along its way of falling".

Ha..
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  #46  
Unread 04-05-2006, 06:39
Tibbylicious Tibbylicious is offline
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"Oh."

-Myself
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  #47  
Unread 04-05-2006, 07:19
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Mine was from myself too. Lol

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you. - Oscar Wilde
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  #48  
Unread 05-05-2006, 05:49
sandig sandig is offline
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"The future is here. It's just not evenly distributed yet." ~William Gibson
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  #49  
Unread 05-05-2006, 09:08
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your a bum rocky YOUR A BUM! - mickey
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  #50  
Unread 10-05-2006, 06:46
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"If I take a lamp and shine it toward the wall, a bright spot will appear on the wall. The lamp is our search for truth... for understanding. Too often, we assume that the light on the wall is God, but the light is not the goal of the search, it is the result of the search. The more intense the search, the brighter the light on the wall. The brighter the light on the wall, the greater the sense of revelation upon seeing it. Similarly, someone who does not search - who does not bring a lantern - sees nothing. What we perceive as God is the by-product of our search for God. It may simply be an appreciation of the light... pure and unblemished... not understanding that it comes from us. Sometimes we stand in front of the light and assume that we are the center of the universe - God looks astonishingly like we do - or we turn to look at our shadow and assume that all is darkness. If we allow ourselves to get in the way, we defeat the purpose, which is to use the light of our search to illuminate the wall in all its beauty and in all its flaws; and in so doing, better understand the world around us." - G'kar (Andreas Katsulas), Babylon 5

"We are the Universe, trying to understand itself" - Delenn (Mira Furlan)
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  #51  
Unread 10-05-2006, 11:56
karilyn karilyn is offline
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The Rules of Wedding Crashing:
_. Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
_. Rule #2: Never use your real name.
_. Rule #3: When crashing an Indian wedding, identify yourself as a well-known immigrant officer or a county lawyer.
_. Rule #4: No one goes home alone.
_. Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow crasher.
_. Rule #6: Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention in a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
_. Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.
_. Rule #8: Be the life of the party.
_. Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
_. Rule #10: Invitations are for pussies.
_. Rule #11: Sensitive is good.
_. Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
_. Rule #13: Bridesmaids are desperate: console them.
_. Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
_. Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
_. Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
_. Rule #17: Every female wedding guest deserves a wedding night.
_. Rule #18: You love animals and children.
_. Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
_. Rule #20: The older the better, the younger the better (see Rule below)
_. Rule #21: Definitely make sure she's
_. 18.
_. Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
_. Rule #23: There's nothing wrong with having seconds. Provided there's enough women to go around.
_. Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
_. Rule #25: You understand she heard that but that's not what you meant.
_. Rule #26: Of course you love her.
_. Rule #27: Don't over drink. The machinery must work in order to close.
_. Rule #28: Make sure there's an open bar.
_. Rule #29: Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help now and again.
_. Rule #30: Know the playbook so you can call an audible.
_. Rule #31: If you call an audible, always make sure your fellow Crashers know.
_. Rule #32: Don't commit to a relative unless you're absolutely sure that they have a pulse.
_. Rule #33: Never go back to your place.
_. Rule #34: Be gone by sunrise.
_. Rule #35: Breakfast is for closers.
_. Rule #36: Your favorite movie is "The English Patient".
_. Rule #37: At the reception, one hard drink or two beers max. A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher.
_. Rule #38: Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up.
_. Rule #39: The way to a woman's bed is through the dance floor.
_. Rule #40: Dance with old folks and the kids. The girls will think you're "sweet."
_. Rule #41: Never hit on the bride -- it's a one way ticket to the pavement
_. Rule #42: Try not to break anything, unless you're not having fun.
_. Rule #43: At the service, sit in the fifth row. It's close enough to wedding party to seem like you're an invited guest. Never sit in the back. The back row just smells like crashing.
_. Rule #44: Create an air of mystery that involves some painful experience when interacting with the girl you're after. But don't talk about it.
_. Rule #45: Always remember your fake name! Rehearse it in advance and make sure you know your fellow Crasher's code-name as well!
_. Rule #46: The Rules of Wedding Crashing are sacred. Don't sully them by "improvising."
_. Rule #47: You forgot your invitation in your rush to get to the church.
_. Rule #48: Make sure all the single women at the wedding know you're there because you've just suffered either a terrible breakup or the death of your fiancée.
_. Rule #49: Always work into the conversation: "Yeah, I have tons of money. But how does one buy happiness?"
_. Rule #50: Be pensive! It draws out the "healer" in women.
_. Rule #51: Always pull out in time.
_. Rule #52: Tell any woman you're interested in that you'd love to stay put but you promised to help out at the homeless shelter today.
_. Rule #53: It's time to put your Drama Lessons in practice! Get choked up during the service. The girls will think you're "sensitive". Bring a slice of onion or artificial tears if necessary.
_. Rule #54: Avoid virgins. They're too clingy.
_. Rule #55: If pressed, tell people you're related to Uncle John. Everyone has an Uncle John.
_. Rule #56: Don't fixate on one woman. ALWAYS have a back-up.
_. Rule #57: When seeing a rival Crasher, do not interact: merely acknowledge each other with a tug on the earlobe and gracefully move on.
_. Rule #58: The Ferrari's in the shop.
_. Rule #59: If two rival crashers pick the same girl, the crasher with the least seniority will respectfully yield.
_. Rule #60: No "chicken dancing": no exceptions.
_. Rule #61: When crashing out of state, request permission from the local Wedding Crasher chapter.
_. Rule #62: No more than two weddings a weekend. More and your game gets sloppy. You'll also attract unwanted notice.
_. Rule #63: Bring an extra umbrella when it rains. Courtesy opens more legs than charm.
_. Rule #64: Always save room for cake.
_. Rule #65: When your crash partner fails, you fail. No man is an island.
_. Rule #66: Smile! You're having the time of your life.
_. Rule #67: Mix it up a little. You can't always be the man with the haunted past.
_. Rule #68: Dance with the Bride's grandmother.
_. Rule #69: No sex on the altar. Confessionals, okay. Chair lofts, better.
_. Rule #70: Two shutouts in a row? It's time to take a week off. Ask yourself: what is it that is getting in the way of my happiness?
_. Rule #71: Research, research, research the wedding party. And when you are done researching, research some more.
_. Rule #72: Studies have shown that women have a more developed sense of smell. Breath mints: small cost, big yield.
_. Rule #73: Keep interactions with the parents of the bride and groom to a minimum.
_. Rule #74: In case of emergency, refer to the rulebook.
_. Rule #75:
_. Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion.
_. Rule #77: Carry extra protection at ALL times.
_. Rule #78: The unmarried female rabbi: is she fair game? Of course she is.
_. Rule #79: The tables furthest from the kitchen always get served first.
_. Rule #80: Stop, look, listen. At weddings. In life.
_. Rule #81: Occasionally bring a gift: you're getting sex without having to buy dinner, so you can afford a blender.
_. Rule #82: Always think ahead but always stay in the moment. Reconcile this paradox and you'll not only get the girl, you might also get peace of mind.
_. Rule #83: Don't let the ring bearer bum your smokes. His parents may start to ask questions.
_. Rule #84: Stay clear of the wedding planner. They may recognize you and start to wonder.
_. Rule #85: Don't use the "I have two months to live" bit: not cool, not effective.
_. Rule #86: Shoes say a lot about the man.
_. Rule #87: Always choose large weddings. More choice. Easier to blend.
_. Rule #88: You're from out of town. ALWAYS.
_. Rule #89: Know something about the place you say you are from, whether be from another US state or another country. Texas is too-played out. For some reason, England, Germany or even New Hampshire seem to work. Master the accents convincingly, and you've nailed them!
_. Rule #90: Of course you dream of one day having children.
_. Rule #91: Never dance to "What I Like About You." It's long past time to let that song go. Someone will request it at every wedding. Don't dance to it. No matter how hot the girl.
_. Rule #92: Tell the bride's friends and family that you are family of the groom and visa-versa.
_. Rule #93: Only take one car. You never know when you'll need to make a fast escape.
_. Rule #94: Deep down, most people hate themselves. This knowledge is the key to most bedroom doors.
_. Rule #95: Try not to show off on the dance floor. This means you Jeremy.
_. Rule #96: Etiquette isn't old-fashioned. It's sexy.
_. Rule #97: Catholic weddings: the classic dilemma: painfully long ceremony: horny girls.
_. Rule #98: The newspaper Wedding Announcements are your racing form. Choose carefully.
_. Rule #99: Be judicious with cologne. Citrus tones are best.
_. Rule #100: Save the tuxes for "the big show" only.
_. Rule #101: Avoid women who were psychology majors in college. There is no kind of woman more clingy and persistent than a psychologist investigating your story later on.
_. Rule #102: No periwinkle colored ties, please.
_. Rule #103: Always have an early "appointment" the next morning.
_. Rule #104: Be well groomed and well-mannered.
_. Rule #105: Never cockblock a fellow Crasher. Cockblocking an invited guest--okay.
_. Rule #106: Eat plentiful, digest your food. You'll need the energy later.
_. Rule #107: Know when to abandon ship if it ain't floating.
_. Rule #108: Know your swing and salsa dancing. Girls love to get twisted around.
_. Rule #109: Always carry an assortment of place cards to match any wedding design.
_. Rule #110: Make sure your magic trick and balloon animal skills are not rusty. If the kids love it, the girls will too.
_. Rule #111: Never have sex with bride or groom's mother even if she is the hottest bombshell at the wedding. Just control yourself.
_. Rule #112: Have FUN! It's why you're there!
_. Rule #113: Don't look for opportunities; make them.
_. Rule #114: 3-4 months to wedding crash--funerals are year round!
Rule #115: Never walk away from a crasher in a funny jacket. (The rule that Jeremy makes up to insult John
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  #52  
Unread 21-06-2006, 00:00
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pablo pablo is offline
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"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'ma vegetarian because I hate plants."
- A. Whitney Brown
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  #53  
Unread 21-06-2006, 01:18
Pembily Pembily is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pablo
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'ma vegetarian because I hate plants."
- A. Whitney Brown
did you by any chance get that from the google quotes page??
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  #54  
Unread 23-06-2006, 11:41
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"I so very badly want to kill everyone in this room. Even the children. Especially the children." - Spider Jerusalem.
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  #55  
Unread 23-06-2006, 11:44
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happy joy joy happy joy joy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack B. Badd
I love it!!! Love love love yum yum yum... In fact, think I'm gonna get some now!

qoute de qoute

Last edited by happy joy joy; 23-06-2006 at 11:49..
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  #56  
Unread 08-07-2006, 23:50
Nycteris Nycteris is offline
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For your sake we are being massacred all day long, treated as sheep to be slaughtered.
Psalm 44:22

I find it very relevant these days
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  #57  
Unread 08-08-2006, 12:10
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pablo pablo is offline
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Quote:
"People think I sleep with everyone, but I'm not like that. I like kissing, but that's all I do. I'm not having sex for a year, I've decided."
– Paris Hilton, who also said she's had sex with only two people, to British GQ , source
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  #58  
Unread 10-08-2006, 22:36
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"no i didn't drive him to the hospital. that would've defeated the purpose of shooting him in the first place." Mark "Chopper" Read played by Eric Bana in the film ...... you guessed it Chopper
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  #59  
Unread 11-08-2006, 02:44
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my buddy meet him. how scary is that.
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  #60  
Unread 11-08-2006, 13:13
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"It's SOOOOO COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!...I'm gonna kill the inventor of air-con!"

Nikki BB7
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