u thought it had gone away but it hasn't. the forces of lord sheldon also know of this new board

hello , to read the old posts , check what the evil belly has done with them here (http://www.eirjobs.com/freakfm/eggs.html) if anyone is interested in the old post ~ pablo

last night i recieved a desperate txt message from amanda the deputy commander in chief of lord sheldons armed forces from which i now quote "there has been an outward migration of the bugs on the pillar. we must stop them with our legions before they take over my wall and hold me prisoner" as we can all see the situation is grave for our brave commander who despite the horrors of a bug attack has vowed to continue her work in the name of sheldon

Yes I'm back and scared and not inspiried by this new board but I'll try.
And Amanda is held pirsoner by the bugs outside her house.the belly led a fearsome charge from across the green to relive her.But unfourntaly ran out of steam and sat down on the deck chair for a while.Then he realised who he was and got back into his silver car and just drove into the pillar freeing Amanda and also oscar who then ran away.

i take exception to that comment freak. u know i'm a very careful driver:D and tgat i would never do something like that though i did try to steal smoe of the wall before. i have had to resort to chemical warfare so them bugs better watch out cos i'll kill em with some insecticide. just as soon as i've had a nice sit down and a bit of a rest

oh lordy, it starts again. weirdos, the lot of ye!

in all fairness ber did you think that simply moving to a new board would deter the followers of sheldon what sort of half wits do u take us for.....oh look, shiney

Indeed in Lord Shellod's crack army we can't polish our shoes as we tend to end up starting at eachother's footwear.Then tony gets down on all fours and licks the shoes like Bob's puppy.

ah we have returned although facing great opposition! it baffles me to think that you believed this movement with the momentum of a couch potatoe could have been suppressed simply by changing message boards. it was a low tactic and hurt both me and sheldon as we both kicked the computer. sheldon has an important message for all his loyal supporters "stay strong, stay focused and always, always remember your pants". we both wish you all good luck in the up and coming campaigns, the easter bunny is slayen, all that lays before is a terrifying foe, one who we must not under-estimate, JIM THE KOALA!

i have been chronicalling sheldons family tree due to the fact that i am sheldons high priestness i believe him to be the high egg. during my research i came upon a most disturbing fact. this fact does not sit well with the inner sanctum of the most high lord sheldon. we have discovered that sheldons twin brother, SNOT is leading the armies of the evil koala JIM. after secretly reading sheldons diary's it has come to the surface that snot turned evil following a horrific accident which resulted in a near fatal crack to the shell. do not be fooled by this egg although he resembles our most high lord sheldon. beware and keep vigilent.

Bloody hell this is confusing. HEHEHEHEHEHE............................pink ;)
Well now, I have found the breeding grounds of the bugs. They are located just inside the wall, they are closer than I thought. Oscar, however has managed to keep them from the house with his pinkness and his loud bark. Evils plan of action has not been undertaken as yet but in a few weeks time (hopefully) it will.
They're watching me.

thats just painly disturbing, how dare our enemies turn our tactics on us. we will not let this mater go unattended and i do believe we will follow up on the original chemical warfare. oscar has defended like a true warrior and would make a useful ally in our compaign. he already has the pink color to scare and mentally scar our enemies.

and as well as that he make a loud growling sound that scares the shit out of things(not quite sure what yet though) he would make a worthy ally in our fight against sheldons evil half brother as he could train your puppy to have a loud evil growl instead of a high pitched yelp but then again your puppy might eat him.

as muffin leader i took it upon myself to fraterinize with the enemy, namely a little babs of just 1 month who has disturbingly united with the puppy, disguising all evil with "cutesieness". they have cunningly devised a plan to distract us by making us do goo goo ga ga faces at them as the babs amazes onlookers with her ability to give the finger. meanwhile, a few doors down, :eek: the little puppy parades around with little legs and makes innocent bystanders make stupid nonsensical rhyming noises "ahh would you look at the liddle iddy biddy pawsie wawsies". the message is simple - stop them before they get too powerful and poo all over you.

new muffin war cry : "i have nothing colin so stop chasing me as if you're gonna rugby tackle me"
:D

i do agree with the danger we face due to the onslaught of the evil of babies. i do on the otherhand wonder about the true intentions of the evil puppy who having recently been dubbed with the approbiately evil name of (deep voice) " COOKIE ". it is my firm belief that cookie is merely attempting to convice all our enemies she fights on no side but theirs. it is for this reason and no other that she attacks both me and those with the scars. we will remain vigilent due to this newly attained information to ensure the upmost safety.

evil sharp puppy teeth. we need to use the jedi mind trick on the puppy and make her attack or enemies or at least attack tony and no using the jedi mind trick with rob in the room cos he's easily infleunced and confused

i take offence to that comment ooh m&m's. its not very nice to make accusatons like that without any proof.

Yes and Bill did put up a brave fight in trying to put the rubbish on my table in study.But I manage to fight him off using a pen to stab him and my croth to destract him.go for the m+ms run little Bill run.

i have all the proof i need from living next to u for the last 15 years or so. proof ha thats all i need having to prove things to you well i don't have time to draw it in pretty colours on clionas blackboard so u can understand it so ask amanda to explain it

i am going to set cookie on you when you come down cause she's even more evil than usual due to my mind games and constant torture and tickling on de belly.that'll teach you to mess with me and insult me. well probably not but doesnt it sound all impressive n stuff.

I will be away this weekend but do not fear, I shall be back Sunday. I am leaving Oscar in my place as he is the ultimate mammal to fill my vacant seat. He is more fearfull than I am myself........................ask anybody. But he does loath confrontations.
BE AWARE!!!!!!!!
He is not as cute as he looks.

the only problem with leaving oscar in your place is that they won't let him into tribes and i bet he won't let be rub his face. you don't exactly let me either but you don't have sharp teeth and a desire to comsume my uncooked flesh (do you?):(

i'm not afraid of cookie because she likes the smell of my shoes(which is worrying as u'll know if u've ever been in the room when i take em off) and as well as that i can distract her with my long flowing locks cos for some strange reason she keeps trying to eat my hair

it has been brought to my attention that some of jim the koalas forces have taken to wearing a shade of purple fluff that looks incredibly similar to the pink fluff of our own forces. i must therefore urge all in lord sheldons legions of terror to be extra vigilent when on duty as we cannot afford to be taken off guard. should anyone have any ideas on how we could solve this problem and take revenge on our evil foe then please post them here.

ah, evil and cunning, what more could you ask of your enemy except to have the ability to cook, and bake. this poses yet another hurdle for our followers to overcome, and overcome we shall! we must train our legions to be able to determine the difference between shades, rather than colours. this way they will immediately be able to spot our enemy and lead us into certain victory! on another subject my mammy has threathened cookie due to her viciousness. she has a month to prove her loyalty, this is a test. we hope she will overcome this, but it is a test for her and no one else. fingers crossed and may our prayers be answered.

i feel so lost, kinda like the time my mummy took me to town and then she said she'd be back in 5 minutes then i had to be taken home by the nice men in the cars with the lights and they make noise and stuff. My mummy kept referring to a plan that didnt work... hmmmmmm :confused:

aah, them county council workers are dead nice alright. i remember once when my parents by accident pushed out of the car down in kerry (apparently a freak accident) while going 50 down a small bothrín. i came across a group of county council workers, resting on their shovels cause they were tired after getting out of the van. they asked my name a couple of times cause they kept forgetting it. then they let me drive the van back to killarney, with the lighty thingy flashing, where i met a garda who took me to the station. there he proceeded to have a two hour tea break. after this he came back to me to asked me a couple of personal details, name, age, waist size. he then rang my parents who must have been truamatised by the incident cause they had no recognition of me. then the garda drove me home. i could tell my parents were relieved cause they didnt talk to me for a fortnight. i have no idea of the relevance of the story but i tought ye should no.

PREPARE THYSELVES! THE FEARED KOALA JIM IS COMING THIS WAY GATHER THE ARMIES , THE ARTILLERY ARE PREPARED , LIVE LONG DIE WELL ,VIVA LA RESISTANCE:eek:

it is as i feared. this past calm in the yolk has made me suspicious of our foe becoming ever stonger and more deadly in its execution of its task at hand, spreading darkness throughout the lands. i turn to both you, fubu and the evil belly to overcome this new danger. are your forces prepared to do battle?this new ripple in the good yolk have me feeling tense and nervous, but i place my trust in ye both. let us overcome and return the calm to the world. oh and by the way good quoting from "the scorpion king" fubu.

no one said anything about having to do anything when i took this position but now that i'm here i might as well do something. here's the plan, craig use ure artillery to blow the bastards up and my groung troops shall follow. the aerial duck shit bombardment shall preceed the artillery attack which should soften up their defences. as a final measure to ensure victory manky skank shall lead the skank divisions in a mop up operation to make sure no remants of the enemy are left behind our lines

Fubu and I will now help others to understand this post wth a handy guide.
send money to get footnotes.
:)
Cookie=Bill's viciouse puppy that bites people and acts cute and pisses a lot.
Oscar=Noodlettes dog that's all sloppy and stuff.
noodlette lives across the green from Bill and has bug things that live on her wall.Also she is a professional stalker.
Skank=Donal's toy otter thing that was our mascot when we went to the beach.During the day it became Ted's and Donal's love child????
The World=Lord shelldon's first victim of conqour.
Jim the Kola=lord shelldon second obstacle in world domination.
Postions of people in this story.
Belly=high commander of the army,naval and new giant space egg station.
Bill=high pristess.
Ted=father of skank
skank=promoted to manky skank,head of skank divison
Fubu=first liutenant in command of the great lord high shelldon's preimer artillary corps.

back from where it started.The post that took up 5 minutes of my empty life.copied and pasted for your enjoyment.
And all the people of the free world will combine to face the egg.Lear with ride once morew at the head of his hundred knight.They shall ride for a hundred times a hundred strides and face many minor perils along the way(or one big one).They shall enter into the abode of the most dark shelldon(That farm on the Garfield show)Here finding naught o the evil egg they will make camp.
ut during the night the sentries will hear cries in the night.To each man the call comes differently.To one it is a child he thought lost,to another a loved one that left him for another the scars still fresher then the meal he ate during the long march and one of them heard a french man dancing the poka but he was always kinda strange.
The stars which lite this dark place then suddenly fell.The men looked up in terror to see the armed wings of the foul lord's duck.They quickly fell apon the men while the dark hogs burrowed out of there holes to aid their kin.Then the feared one himself shall ride into the fore carried apon his nest made not of straw but of steel and he shall beat all before him down before he'll leave out a cry of
"EGGS FOR ALL" in the dark tongue of Shelldon not spoking in these parts.
I tell you these thing as the phrophet of Shelldon's coming......Leave your loved ones behind!

i all confused, thanks for the whole breakdown of stuff cause eventhough i started this thing i am kinda confused cause its kinda developed alot. i am aware of this new danger which lays before us and we all turn to both fubu and the evil belly for what we hope will only mean victory. a bloody road lies ahead and we must use what power we have, in the form of a scantaly clad, soceror/prohpet thefreak'sfreak to lead our way to ultimate victory.

Am...............have I been forgotton here????? I am in comand of the southern legions. Thats all I've to say for the moment cos I'm very tired. Must rest.

perhaps if u parade the troops around in strategically positioned sheets, they can distract the enemy and then they can all end up naked in bed after a good................sleep. damn that film was cheesy, good war tactics though, especially with close ups of the rocks lovely feminine plucked eyebrows that kinda took from the phallic significance of his sword.

i am calm

i am delighted to report that our troops have had a major victory over the forces of jim the koala. many were bruised on both sides but in the end the forces of jim were no match for lord sheldons crack legions of terror. we are as unstoppable as a snail! the battle was vicious but sheldons forces fought bravely. the battlefield of the irish midlands suited lord sheldons artillery forces well and allowed close co operation between aerial and ground troops and the good visibility ensured accurate bombing by our ducks.

the following military promotions are issued as rewards to the commanders,
craig i do hereby promote you to general and as well as artillery you are now in command of anti-aircraft weapons

amanda i transfer to you command of the southern aerial divisons and our new high altitude reconnisance eagles will be under your command by the end of the month as soon as they recieve their new equipment

robert i do appoint you honorary admiral in lord sheldons navy because i know you like sailors

colin for your well timed text message warning me of an ambush to a supply convoy i do confer on you the honorary rank of commander of the western legions

tony i regert to inform you of the death of several skanks but they fought and died with the honour appropriate to bengalese fighting skanks. i must request that you seek out and mate with donal in order to replenish the skank legion

there were several hundred rank and file promotions also. all new posisitions are in addition to previous responibilities

Ohhh as the phropet can I dress up like the socerrous lady in the rock's film."I will use my magic powers to appear naked in a pg film"
western division.You're giving me kerry?come on who's going want to fight me for that.I'll have no fun.:(

ah this is great news, good to hear about the battle too. mmm scantally clad freak. ah, evil belly u have done us proud with ur lazy tactics of "go over there and fight the bad guys". this victory was well won although the number of skanks lost is rather worrying. we must re-group and re-organise to prepare because no kingdom remains in peace.

Does that mean I'm in charge of ariels, satilites, radar, night vision goggles, telescopes etc? I'm really not helping myself am I?????






SHOTGUN FOR WITNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehehehehe

Yes being naked helps me tell the future.And also scares the neighbours cat.
Bob,Tony,Col.B.C.S. 2002 debs.Three guys,One tux.Going to be a blast.
Tony in the blue third.
Bob in the pink third.
Me in the orange.
Classy

amanda as chief spy u are in control of all things spy related and shotgun for witnness was already called last august so ure months too late. colin kerry is in the south under amandas command u got out galway direction

I dont mind about shotgun really. I get more space in the back and I get the fridge!!!!

Colin Im sorry. Galway is worse than Kerry. I'm from Kerry, well at least my surname. Baile an fheartaigh. Image being down in the Bally Ferriter hotel and you give them your name, and then they proceed, quiet innocently, to ask you 'how do you spell ferriter'??????????!!!!!!!!
Ah the kerry people. aren't they great. they'll make good armies. they are in training.

kerry kicks ass. i have news of our forces from kerry, unfortunately they are slightly delayed due to an argument concerning the shade of moss growing on the side of a rock located near the local drinking establishment. this will not upset calculations due to the fact our forces are high in spirits and prepared for whatever may lie ahead. mmmm sailors. its got something to do with the uniform. tony picked de orange tux, i'm between white and blu, or yellow. but no matter what they ALL must have frills!

i would have to agree that galway is worse than kerry but i felt that i couldn't let colin in charge of a load of impressionable kerry people. god we could have a load of randy farmers touching up their animals.

amanda the fridge is not confirmed yet cos it could take up too much space

galway has strategic advantages due to the fact that it is located near some rather excellent drinking establishments. also its proximity to the sea would be advantageous for our sailors(mmm)
to come to shore but also to launch our attacks from. on the other hand kerry is also located near our shore line allowing slow and easy access to our navy. either way i'm happy. the fridge must be your prority, i'm sure amanda wont mind sitting on the roof of the car to ensure the fridge is comfy. although i'm not coming along i must ensure that the fridge is comfortable for the long journey.

i agree that the fridge must come. we can always leave edel behind and give the fridge her seatbelt or put it the front and give it the airbag. i got my tickets for witnness too. numbers 412 and 413

Or I could just try fit in the fridge. that would be a very interesting sight.

We will have to go undercover. We will be mixing with the enimies at witnness. be on guard at all times, keep to yourself and dont be influenced by strange men who are pissed and stoned.
I'm talkin to you especailly sham. i know how distracted you get by shiny things.

haha, shiny distractionary tactics eh? dem bastard enemies have found our weakness! we must counteract this new found shiny technology. this poses a rather difficult obstacle to overcome. i say we shud just buy dem polarising lenses which will add style and sophisitication to all ranks, and also hopefully tackle this horriffic abuse of our weakness.

you buying all the shades then rob cos no one else will and i already have a pair. witnness should not pose too much of a problem cos i plan on being so drunk i won't remember being distracted or corrupted by shiny things although i do plan to rub amandas face a lot cos it's so fucking smooth and i'll have an excuse cos i'll be drunk

when exactly have u needed an excuse before may i ask? i dont believe you needed an excuse when lying on my chest, the result of which is ashma. i miss the drunken days of my youth. dem was the days. i cant wait till they return with the wealth of the summer, only one small obstacle to overcome, the leaving!

ah for the days of childhood violence and killing bob. u don't need an excuse but it always helps to have one ready

And when have I EVER given you permission to rub my face??????
Just cos u plan on rubbing my face when you're drunk, it doesnt mean i'll be pissed enough to let you. keep dreamin sham. i might just have to stop moisturising. then you'll have to turn to rob, or adrian or some poor unfortunate stranger who really wont know whta you're tryin to do.
on to more important matters..........
we have to have a twister floor space reserved for your 'room' so we can discuss war tactics, new longjohn colours, etc.

that was already discussed and agreed upon. where would military tactics be without twister. oh and your face will always be smoother than the lads cos u don't got stubble or else you get a real close shave

ah, the joys of stumbleless skin, it just cant be beat. i dont what it is but its really cool. sham has spent years rubbing my face not to mention what he does to tony so dont complain amanda. u dont no how lucky u have it.

my face rubbing technique is highly in demand you know and i won't rub just any face. you should be flattered

ya sham face rubbing and his bottomless belly button??I would loved to have seen you play the drums with your belly button oh ya if you ever get my stickes out of there can i have them back:(

it's going to take a while for me to get them out and if i do u might not want them but they are most excellent for getting out that hard to reach bellybutton fluff

that belly button trick is actually quite impressive i have to admit. i was doing the trick out on the green with one those small maglites, it was funny. did u manage to thet that pink pencil out though. you were having trouble with it the last time i was talking to you.

ok im scared :eek: i havent a clue wot this whole topic is about....
but how can i join ;)








:chick: :chick: :chick: :chick: :chick:

Bascial the weird and wonderful life in Bcollig and a story of the shenniagens we have on the green in muskerry.There was an explantion of most stuff on the last page.

ah the joys of shannanigans. confusion breeds sheep eh. ah the joys of it. its great now sham has a kickss party trick involving belly button fluff, the belly button and drumsticks. what more could one ask for.

Originally posted by thefreak'sfreak
Bascial the weird and wonderful life in Bcollig and a story of the shenniagens we have on the green in muskerry.There was an explantion of most stuff on the last page.

I used to b from Bcollig. i lived in Alsbury Court so the weirdness should come naturally to me:p ;)

as Alsbury.I had many fun nights there sliding down a big hill at stoopid speeds and one special hallowen when I was chassed though the estate by 25 lads after a mix up with a letterbox and smoke bomb.Sniff Sniff.

let the party preparations begin for the belly returns next week and will instigate a great shaking of heads competition. i will also play the drums with my all powerful bellybutton and all will be in awe at my skill or horrified at seeing my belly.

bet you thought we let the topic slide, guess what....we didnt! our forces were locked in deep meditation as part of their outer shell hardening and unable to break their vow of silence and meditation even to bring news of our clear strenghtening of our forces! it is for this reason news of our progree but after a difficult journey i am proud to say that our forces came out determined to succeed. continue the good fight

Long live the sheldon army and its forces

i have resumed my rightful place in sheldons grand scheme and now that i have returned to the south i do take command of all sheldons forces for the duration of the exams and as such am supreme commander reporting only to sheldon. this does not affect anyones rank or command abilities and is merely a measure to ensure the forces of sheldon continue to function during this dark time for the command team. i urge you all to continue the good fight and work for the glory of sheldon

our forces seem locked in the constant torment that is the leaving cert. unfortunately despite our clearly important cause, our superiors deemed i of the upmost importance that we complete this trivial test. meanies! it is for this reason that sham will take control until the victorius da of our FREEDOM, as previously stated!

due to the terrible weather conditions we have come to a truce with lord sheldons foes. this is because no one is prepared to fight in the cold wet mucky conditions or risk getting a cold. this truce will remain in effect until the weather improves. do not let your guard down during this period of inactivity as it is possible that spies will be active. be vigilent

Ha now that I've a phone that works again I can begin to lead the western forces again.In other words the 085 phone is working just easy to tel people here then remember who I told.or something:confused:

colin if that fone was any good would i have given it to u? it's a piece of meteor shite but hey it was free.

I have heard storys of the demise if lord sheldon.Is this true?

demise, we dont know the meaning of the word demise! our dictoinary only goes to C. but anyway. sheldon remains in total control of his forces. all that lies between him and the fridge is a door! all that lies between him and victory over his enemies is a waterballoon catapult. eggs do not like to be wet you know. this fact our enemies have clearly taken advantage of! this will not be tolerated and we are receiving waterproof gear and pink umbrella's. that is all for now.

i am currently testing the latest batch of rain gear for lord sheldon and it is performing far beyond our expectactions and remember we'd be unstoppable if we could only get started

unstoppable eh?we remain unstoppable due to the fact we dont know how to get started. it is one of our best traits.i also wish to announce that i will return to my position as sheldons high priestess as i have realised that the leaving is now coming to a close. :D well, i still have a bit to go, but i'm fed up and tired and sheldon needs my constant attention. he's spoilt. powers gone straight to his shell.

we have suffered a terrible blow to our morale as lord sheldon had our crack paratroopers in training for a top secret mission but i regretfully had to inform the high priestess that despite having a vast arsenal of terrible weapons including but not limited to large water pistols and one machine paintball gun (which is used for the protection of lord sheldon) we have no parachutes and so our parachute regiments had to be disbanded much to the huge disappointment of all concerned as we had all being looking forward to the parachute display which was to be on sunday afternoon

well, a number of options lay before us. it is the decision that will prove difficult as we are not known for our decisiveness. firstly, we have the option of putting our crack team of sowers on the job, giving a strict deadline and (of the upmost importance) a clear guide to the colour scheme of the parachutes. this on the other hand will prove long and tedious and well, i'm lazy. the other option, although quite severe i believe will be most successful. it involves no parachutes, very little work, and only cracked shells. we keep our campaign of dropping our forces over enemy targets, but with out parachutes. we must be confident that they land directly on our foe ensuring our victory. although this is clearly a severe tactic i believe it will bring victory, i leave this decision in the hands of my military commanders.

i agree that eggs may have to be sacrificed for the cause but i think that some will be needed to volunteer for hard boiling prior to being dropped. these eggs will be used against hard targets such as machine gun bunkers, trampolines and sand pits.

Under constant pressure from the belly(and the belly can put a lot of pressure on when it want to")I have decided to once again post in this most hallow thread.
Bascial horses.Right when you see horses on the road when you're in the coutry they don't seem like much.Even on t.v. when a guy on horseback mows down a bunch of peasents you go"I could take one"But i was up in Dublin two days ago and there was one walking down grafften street.He had a gardai on his back but that was nothing.We where traveling at a fair pace down the run almost a brisk jog and this feckers was keeping up all the way.He was a scary beast as he neighed behind me.He didn't have any dainty hooves like a race horse but big fuck off things for flailing demostrators.Feck Wouldn't want one of them after me.
Just remembered where this may have come from.My dad was driving a 4x4 in a field when a horse started bucking it.We almost died or somthing when he smashed the bonnet.I was 5.It was cool.Can we get lord sheldon on a horse?

we had a large battle horse for lord sheldons use but due to the expense of feeding it and the fact that it was fucking insane we shot it and ate it and our most illustrious leader now has a jet black rocking horse but has recently fallen several times which has lead to a worrying shell crack. we are awaiting delivery of several specially crazed steeds for use by senior staff. i'll keep the forces of shelodn informed

when i was younger i used to ride about my uncles best room on a rocking horse. never knew you could scrape wood that much.oh well i have learned from my mistake, i use a rocking donkey now.

u really have to love rocking horses except for the fact that they're filthy bastards and will shit all over the place. it can provide a handy weapon for our artillery corps however

Craig needs no supplies of shit.He can use the stuff that comes out of his mouth=)

aah cool, ye have something in common so

what the fuck was that supposed to mean u fucking shithead , yes im talking to you dumass

thats you colin in case u didnt cop on the first time

and wot the fuck did i have to do wit this chapter of lord sheldons life coz im on temperary leave of abcence to serve my original country (and get paid too , te hee)

you're also on a secret mission to steal us more guns but we'll say nothing about that

Oh come on rigga giv us a hug.I know you're gettin plenty of hugs off all the other boys in uniform at the mo=)When you done with that you doin it over the weekend?

fag

stop craving for a smoke craig!!!!

ah yes the use of smoke signals in our campaign is a most useful one as we have found eggs incapable of using phones, no oppossible thumbs u see. we simply selotape towels to theis middle section and make them create signals.a most interesing developement

now that our troops finally understand that they themselves should not stand too close to the fire as there were several nasty accidents when the system was first introduced

ya, but we got fed now didnt we. nothing better than a nicely done egg. i mean we buried them we great honor and dignity

it is very important for an army to have a good feed now and then and eggs are very nutritious

too true,too true.we must not inform our forces of this clear neglect of our true intentions and roles as leaders.this wood immediately lead to a sudden drop in moral and our success rate wood clearly be effected.

indeed. it is of the utmost importance to keep morale high so as not to effect the efficency of our troops in battle

I am so confused...

eggcellent u are now in the correct mental state to join the forces of lord sheldon.

look at the shiny thing!!!!!!!!It angers!

HA! I just decided to post here to make this Topic have 100 hundred posts.. :D

100 posts is only a blip on our road to success. right i tired so cant come up wit anything else original or funny at the mo. oh well, though.

though sleep we will conquar all.No idea how yet but it's an idea worth looking into!

this must be the longest thread EVER!!!! it just goes on and on about everything :D

and to think how it all began......stupid imagination. we got 3 pages on old freak too. throughout this there is deep and meaningful discussion, you have to wade through the bullshit but its there somewhere!

and it will become far longer in the next day or so once i finish getting the old posts fron the other board sorted and het em put up here

hello , to read the old posts , check what the evil belly has done with them here (http://www.eirjobs.com/freakfm/eggs.html) if anyone is interested in the old post ~ pablo

thanks for that pablo now it's complete and our plan can come to fruition

no the evil has reach final stage.Soon he shall all the talk of eggs with leggs to write the novel that he is planning then no one will be spared!

i have recruited my mother into our great plan and she has decided to rid the land of every huge yellow concrete bollard by hitting them at speed with the front of the car. god but that woman is dangerous behind the wheel. how she managed to hit a big fuck off yellow concrete thing i'll never know but i think she's perfect for use when we attack concrete pillboxes and the like

unfortunately i must agree wit belly on this,i've been in the car wit his mum and it is a terrifying experience.the word shitless comes to mind.i do think that this new plan is a geat idea and she will fit the part perfectly.

i've been saving up all my money to by armour plating for the car. it's not that i'm worryed about being shot or anthing but i think it'll be cheaper than constantly repairing the car and should give some peace of mind when mum drives. i can see now that it will also save us from having to carry craigs tank down the stairs to use in battle as we can just use my car and squirt water at our enemies

evil story belly.Col still scared.Bad mammy hurt baby car.We should get jamie's dad to take her away!

sham, dont fool yourself like that.there is no armour on this planet that could protect your car from your mum. i hate to have to tell you this but i fear this clear lack of knowledge in relation to the obvious truth is leading towards a mental breakdown, fight it my dear friend. your car was fucked after the 6th item she hit. theres no turning back now. we must face forward, away from all bolards.

how can we avoid the bollard they be everywhere and my mother seems destined to collide with them as for my car maybe we could set it free in a scrapyard or give it to our enemies and they'll kill themselves in it

bubble wrap!Need i say more.There's still a bunch of it left after thouse builders!

i'll have it to wrap myself and lord sheldon in

or cut holes out for the windows and do it duke of hazard style.

now thats an idea. weld all the doors shut and paint the car orange and have a huge picture of lord sheldon on the roof instead of a rebel flag and then drive the way i usually do which is probably a result of watcing too much dukes of hazard anyway

hey you cant claim to drive like the dykes of hazzards, in all the times i've been in the car with you you've only ramped over 2 trucks. they do it on a regular basis in the dykes of hazard.

and the A team.

Ha 5 pages.

yes we gotta keep this going...tho i dont have a clue :)

ohhh cool it goes to "last page".We discover somthing new everday.

what does this have to do with our most high lord sheldon. it's only a thread length at the end of the day and remember we had 3 page on the old board

and it all began wit ankle warmers and a tea cosey

indeed it did but then lord sheldon revealed his grand scheme for world domination and so here we are

ya,greedy bastard,not content with living in that oversized egg cup, he set his sights on world domination, pity he's such a lazy bastard, i think he gets it from us.

yes, yes he does.
thats all i have to say on the matter for now.

this coming from the person who rings us asking us to call over to her cause she too lazy to come over.you the ultimate in lazyness

i thought i was i'm all offended now

The importance of the thread length is that the word of shelldon is spread forth and as the prophet of Shelldon this is important to me.Ha.

i'll have the legions of terror kick your ass

i high priestess and can wear a dress when i want, bet ye jealous now. this shall put an end to the squabbling.

i not squabbling i stating a fact. i lazier than everyone else. you know i'm telling the truth

you put a lot of effort into saying you're lazy.

i'd like to hear the the opinion of jim the kaola in all this.Anyone?

ah yes jim, our ultimate foe, being a koala and al he lacks the instable and rather disturbing energy needed to succeed in the world of the underworld.

he cant talk neither so u aint going to get an opinion out of him any day soon , i put a stop to communication means a long time ago with a match and an igloo , oh how he screamed in pain , and now to come forth against him a second time is only an honour . god speed to the armys of lord sheldon for the wrath shall be mine not thine ,jim o worthy adversary(of course ill share the wrath with the rest of the lads also)...


...IM BACK!

you come back from the land of being buggered up the arse by mountain goats and you think you the greatest ever, guess what, you are.

And he worked in a lear quote too.See if you can find it.Well I say if jim bitchs bout the lenght I just grab him when he's up that tree and blow his little kola heart and if that doesn't finish him I'll pour a load of foasters down his thoart.

why fosters, only curious, is it cause its australian?

the natural habitat of the angel fish is warm tropical water... this is cool refreshing sprite.

not fosters,foAsters.Not a spelling error it's the natural drink of little not-bear things.

oh righty then, i'll take your word for it.

I WOULDNT:D

You just can't trust rigga.Comes from being touched as a kid.

once again the forces of jim the kaola grow strong in the south, he shall have vengence against lord shelldon.in the mean time crushing news for those who appose jim the kaola, especially timmy, the little white and black but adorable with only a penis the size of the human thumb, panda, jim got his penis stuck in a finger trap, mistaking it for a thumb.tragedy struck when timmy realised that his "spanking the monkey" days were over.now an army formed by timmy grows in the north east.i on the other hand have no idea what i'm talking about.the war goes on.no animals were harmed in the making of this presentation.a duck got sick though

crikey!

well at least you got some kind of imagination! jim the koala grows stronger as his eucalypus has been spiked with growth hormones and mental health tablets, with this taken into account we must be aware of his mental health and his tendancy to fall asleep in the middle of battles, there is a weakness there somewhere and we will find it!

we will be victorious once again for nothing can stop the might of lord sheldon except maybe chocolate yazoo and buttons

ah nice one, i had completely forgot that i left buttons in the car, a whole big pack, thats my breakfast sorted.

is this like the longest ever post know to human kind?!!!!!! hundreds of posts more then double that 4 ppl viewing it and 16 long pages full of chat

the forces of sheldon never do things by halves cos we hate leaving stuuf behind cos it means u might have to go back and get it

and then we'd forget somthing back at the start and we'd have to waste petrol.

sheldon sounds like such a cool guy.this is kev by the way, just thought i'd be anonimous(god knows how you spell that fucking word)for a few day since i dont have a regular internet unlike you giys and your fancy tv's and your sky digimical and your mtvs and your masses of buttons(at 2 for 3 euro) readily available.you all think your better me well guess what i have a direct line to george "doubleya" bush.yeah think about it.he's got my number i've got his(mainly due to the fact i've sent him treatening phone calls under the alias of maddas niessuh) but i'm sure he wouldn't mind doing his old stalking buddy a few favours.so when youre all snug at home some night there'll be a knock at the door and you'll get up and no one will be there you'll go sit back down and there'll be another knock and another until you go insane from saying who was at the door??WHO WAS AT THE F*****G DOOR, SOMEONE TELL ME????AAAAAHHHHHHH

i think my point will be proven

i knew it was someone who went macky d's the other night and was there for talk bout panda dick, welcome aboard, sham i was right.

or do as i do, srand next to the door and wen they ring it punch them in the nose, or if lazy disengage the door bell.

i could also do a drive by, toss a brick at the front door(THE HORROR)

ah it truly be kev.I thought it was skinner for a while.
Or force them to ring your door bel then shoat at them till they cry.

or just don't be arsed and do nothing

or be lazy and let your parents deal with it

even better

god bless parents, i still like the drive by brick idea.or you invite them round for a nice meal and then when theyre all comfortable BAMM, the ol' fork in the eye.tell there there'll be ribs, they'll come faster.particularly evil belly ribs

why thank you. we all know they be fucking delicious but i can't take all the credit. all i did was cut em up and then i got my mammy to do all the bbq sauce and cook em

with a whole pot of apricot jam
mmm..... sugary
:(

of cousre how else do you get it to caramelise

this was the kind of sauce where the scent lingered on your hands for days afterwards after numerous showers and water fights.mmmmmm apricot goodness

with several of our most senior members going on holidays in the next few weeks it has been decided to scale down some of more minor projects while they're away. so please note the following changes to the schedule: next sundays prosposed church gate collection will be held a month later, the recruitmant rally that was due to be held in tralee at the end of the month has been cancelled and it has been decided to launch a recruitment drive in the colleges when the new college year begins. and now for the most depressing news, lord sheldons proposed house party and water fight have been cancelled because he has now realised that he has no opposable thumbs

I tell you if we get all the monkeys and cut off their thumbs we'll rule for ever!!!!!Damn furry things!

as sham the "never wrong" (whats your tital again?) said just recently, some monkeys have no opposable thumbs and have survived rather successfully up til now.that best i can come up wit, i just home from work. we not going for another two weeks so we can stilll do some stuff.

if memory serves they're colombus(fucked if i know the spelling) monkeys and they only got 4 fingers.

so there, told you he knew everything and is never wrong!

ya i is infallible. it's handy cos i can't set myself on fire

then again you do have a portable blow torch

but they can't hold guns and threaten us by biting their thumbs at us.

but they can still stick up their middle fingers at us!and they could hold guns just do a really awkward job of it

ya it hasn't stopped anyone in the simpsons from leading a rich full life. they all only got 4 fingers too

thats true, but the question you must ask yourself is.........is craig of foreign origin, like the monkeys of which we speak?

what the fuck does that mean and high priestess or not you will never speak to/of the most high lord sheldons lft. commander in cheif of the pestiged premier and almighty artillery corps/regiment (yet to decide on whether i want a corps or a regiment<which sounds better?>) ill bring the fire and brimstone down on your ass or conver his lorship to hinduism or suttin

BIATCH

just for that outburst nig nog you no longer get to be in charge of the artillery. how dare you speak to a member of lord sheldons innner circle in such a manner

hey nig nog i started this whole topic so what gives you the right to think you, you insignificant piece of imported crap, have any rights. i for this reason fully agree with shams decision!

im your god now bow b4 me:p :wakko:

no.......basically that all i got say on the matter.

when people try and boast about themselves it basically means that they are trying to compensate about something, just a thought.

hehe this thread so long and funny

Originally posted by happy_joy_joy
im your god now bow b4 me:p :wakko:

fuck off you're not god! you're neither food nor tv so therefore not god

forgive me high priestess how many "our fouls" and "hail sheldons" shall i say

if you jump in the lake tonight all will be forgiven and your honour restored

once again the force of sheldon is expanding.at 1715 hours i will depart to the netherlands on a mission of utmost importance, to discover if cadburys buttons taste different on the continent.the mission shall be frought with terror and danger such as what happens if they melt faster over there(CHOCOLATE ALL OVER MY NEW SHIRT, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO[shirt bought in McCarthys currently retailing at 13.95])i shall bring back but none these 3 items, proof that chocolate buttons are different on the continent(by the car load),porno(by the truck load)and a mail order bride for tony.i bid thee fairwell

oh and does antone have change for a 20

no sorry

you should be sorry, not sure what you should be sorry bout but you should be. i skinny dipped in a cold lake in the middle of the night with a spotlight on me, on behalf of the egg. tony was there too and he was honored, he did the spotloghting wit the torch.

it's true. god but that was nice water

yes I came early(usall 4 me)and went before 12 so you guys wheren't there.I even had towel.I wanted to jump in with naked Bob too!

as usuall eh colin poor poor katie tee hee comes early - u should get that checked out it could be stress related

just cause yo got an 18 inch big black dick!!!!!I saw it in your room!!!!....................................Did you get that dildo in mad=)

tiz i the rat me be fuken about on shams laptop .his penis aint that big.he is as black as the night but as white as robs naked ass

So it's kinda a full moon at night kinda sceen going on then???

at least i have some form of genitalia (unlike some person we all know ahem!COLIN)

just on a point of dildos, i saw 1 stuck in a seat of a bus there a few weeks ago, was very funny mostly because of the old lady eyeing it up with interest!:wakko:

and dildos came into this where?

Originally posted by thefreak'sfreak
!....................................Did you get that dildo in mad=) there!:wakko:

ah i must have missed that one.

guess who's back and guess who had the best fucking time EVER???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

donno would it be "BAT MAN"?! i think i herd he was back?!:wakko:

where's my buttons and porn????

i can sort out the porn but as for buttons they never heard of them.shock shock horror horror

i like wight choc buttons! there so nice! or milky bars! i got a little mad 4 them, i woulddo anythink 4 them!(well almost!):wakko:

as long as we have sufficent high quality porn then i suppose it's not a total loss. i must impart terrible news. the special offer is over no more 3 for 3 euro :'(

hey 8 pages cool

but but but but but but but

i know it's terrible but what can we do. i think our campaign for big bags of tasters must now be put in motion

can i suggest a pincir movement as adopted by adolf hitler to make sure they are available in every county in ireland we ever intend to visit?then the plan for world domination can follow more smoothly.

i agree and in response to your most helpful tactical suggestions i appoint you to the position of field commander and you will report directly to me.

the pincir move ment was used by every 1 sins battles began! but hitler's new form of battle made in the 2nd ww, was called blizkrieg! in english i think means lightning, so there 4 the movement was lightning war fere:square: :wakko:

i accept.i mean as second in charge to lord sheldon who wouldnt accept.by the way sham we must meet up tomorrow i must inform you of the kick ass time i had which i would rather explain in person.plus i can bring porno

blitzkrieg did not involve any pincer movements as a general rule. it involved a heavy air attack followed very quickly by an armoured ground assault and the troops were used to finish up anything that was missed. having to use a pincer movement would have ment that the very idea of it hadn't worked. and blitzkreig means lightening war

i did not say blitzfrieg was a picer movement!:wakko:

hence all the better for us to impliment operation tasty goodness

Originally posted by stairway 2 hell
i accept.i mean as second in charge to lord sheldon who wouldnt accept.by the way sham we must meet up tomorrow i must inform you of the kick ass time i had which i would rather explain in person.plus i can bring porno

unfortunatly you will not be second to lord sheldon but you will be within my inner circle as you are a field commander in the armed forces and so therefore hold a rank similar to craig who after apologising has been reinstated as commander of the artillery.

Originally posted by happy_joy_joy
i did not say blitzfrieg was a picer movement!:wakko:

didn't say u did i was just making the point for those who may not study the finer points of war

ok it was just me so readding wronge! oh i love war i studdy it in its finer points! it so cool!:wakko:

i meant you.probably should've finished that sentence better

thats ok kev we all make mistakes just don't do it again

ya i prob should of .... but eh i did not eh!:wakko:

i think i just picked up on that all wronge ! ops:wakko:

ok start from scratch and i'll explain it to you;)

So you saying we have to brings poatotoe bags of buttons to spain to keep Tony happy so he doesn't feed on our flesh then!!!!

no he's saying that they don't have button in holland. no one said anything about spain

i still have not got my milky bars, ithink i'll have 2 go to the shop and hold it up! and take all thers!:wakko:

well i know we still got plenty buttons out here so it's all good

BUTTONS AND BONBONS the magical fussion

i hear when mixed wrongly(if thats a word) it can be lethal fusion.

ah the chocolaty pink gue that forms in d mouth when eaten together. it can be a weapon, a weapon of intimidation if left to dribble down the chin.
Longford bonbons are soft!!!! whats that about??
Am i still d comander of all spy related things. i was something else too but my lazyiness prevails and i cldnt be arsed to check back d MANY MANY pages to see what i was. :p :cool: :moo: :dot:
hehehe smilie faces are COOL!!

you command our spy network with the aid of your new binoculars

i similiar rank to craig as i bring back porno purchased in airport.they have no shame

do you think the paste made from chocolate buttons and bonbons could have a similar explosive effect as nitro glycerine?think about it.sounds like a challange to me.

indeed it does young kevin. i shall have our research team on it as soon as possible. that is the 2 of us trying to melt them together in a pot in my house

now talk bout dedication,here i am in lovely spain and i take the time out to say howdy,colin(aka the freaksfrakk)also says hi.so how is every1?we are leady a rather advenurous battle against shit loads of angry ants,using a lighter and deo we burn the fuckers.........jamie is an evil fuvker.i gonna go pool now,it being big and private and outside our door and all.talk to ye later, havent seen bonbons or buttons yet by the way.bye bye

hey bob glad to hear ye're having fun.i was at school today and already i'm being annoyed by little bastards.anywho ye better be awfully drunk or your all in deep trouble.unless ye come back not knowing ye're names and incredibly hungover i'll burn ye all with bellys blow torch.enjoy

sand..................SAAAAAAANNNDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please? :D :square:
oh, i was d commander of something else too. i'll find out and report back.
be safe, be aware, always wear underware (or pants if u will)

i quote from d evil belly,
''amanda the deputy commander in chief of lord sheldons armed forces''
i rest my case.

you have neglected your duties for far too long and have therefore been stripped of them. kev who has undertaken missions to strange and foreign lands in search of buttons and porn is now your replacement. however, you will still command our spy network unless you begin to neglect those duties

yeah i deputy commander in chief.i've never felt so proud in all my life.excuse me i have something in my eye!!

i'm back.horrible grit in my eye.got a bit worried there for a sec.

it must be clear to you that your duties do not involve command of large amounts of troops but more of an on site battlefield commander reporting to me. you will have no duties outside the military wing of lord sheldons movement.

it also gives me great pleasure to promote rigga to field marshall and give to him command of our motorised divisions these include but are not limited to, artillery(which he already commands) armoured divisions, motor transport, military couriers and frontline battlefield tanks.